It’s a bird? It’s a Plane? No, It’s a giant and very awesome excuse!

It’s amazing how a long weekend away can turn into a few weeks. What was supposed to be a simple, wedding themed weekend masquerading as a mini-holiday, quickly turned into a conspiracy ridden, 2 week debacle. Long story short, while traversing the open, lush country side of northern Alberta, the wife and I (pending… for 5 more weeks) bore witness to a bright and vibrant display of flashing lights and loud noises. Our radio seemingly rendered inoperable and attentions slave to the awesome power of the alien (as it were) light show, we left our vehicle in pursuit of the only logical option left to us: Walk towards the light.

A even brighter flash and moments in time later, I awoke in my bed with little more than a head full of pressure, a lack of clothes and a pain in my ass that only those in certain industries could explain in great detail. Chipping away at the accretions of unmitigated confusion, I tried to figure out how and why I ended up at home, only to fall deeper into a state of wonder upon discovering that Heather, who I assumed was right beside me, was in fact staying in some hotel in England. Yes, you read that right, my wife (pending) was on the other side of the world. What makes matters worse (as if they could be) was her complete lack of recognition for what happened to us. According to her, she left a few weeks ago on business, leaving me alone at home with multiple seasons of X Files and a steady diet of A & W burgers.

Arms thrown in the air, I gave up trying to figure out what was going on with me. I did drink quite a bit of scotch over that weekend, even to the point of screwing up the YMCA (it’s possible!). I was even breaking out Micheal Jackson moves on the dance floor; Always a great time when attending a cowboy themed wedding. I’d like to believe that work in school, home, and the daily responsibilities of being an Arch-Nerd must have really put a strain on me. So much strain in fact, that I ended up “forgetting” the transgressions over a 2 week period. Apart from this lingering pain in my ass, I feel rested and ready to take over the world. I’ve got some catching up to do on here as well and I haven’t forgotten about those arcade adventure pics I planned on posting. Between bouts of Monster Hunter Tri, which everyone should buy, I should be able to knock some posts out on here. Maybe I’ll write about the black SUV that keeps parking in front of my house. There’s a semi-frequent flash that comes from behind the tinted windows every other hour, oddly coinciding with a constant clicking sound that has invaded all of my telephone calls.

The truth is out there.

Advertisements

One Response to “It’s a bird? It’s a Plane? No, It’s a giant and very awesome excuse!”

  1. Jason X Says:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: